20 Signs You Are Ready To Get Married
Getting married is a big deal. In fact, it's easily one of the biggest decisions people make. And although you can always end a marriage with a divorce, most people aren't planning to eventually get divorced when they agree to get married in the first place. They enter a marriage with the hopes and expectations that it will be a union that lasts forever.
According to Focus on the Family, the skepticism many people have about the constitution of marriage exists from information that isn't even factual. Research has proven that marriage as a whole has continually improved since 2014, divorce rates have been falling since 2019, and 92% of married adults admit that they feel satisfied in their relationships. These statistics are exceptionally bright and positive.
There are several secrets to a lasting union, according to Brides. Couples who have been married for 25 years or more say you'll want to always strive to keep the peace between you and your partner, continue growing together as a team, and remain as flexible as you can as things gradually change. And things that help you and your spouse stay connected include showing your love, never keeping score, and finding things to laugh at. It seems there are so many blessings and moments of joy that come along with getting married, but how do you know when you're personally ready to take that leap?
You've been dating for at least one year
Although it might be easy to jump to the conclusion that you're ready to marry your partner after just a couple of months of dating, relationship experts say it's always good to wait at least one year to gauge if the relationship is truly built to last (via Verily). Some believe that waiting two years is an even better timeline, according to The Knot.
If you date someone for one to two years, you get to see them through every season, and through ups and downs. " ... it takes time to know a person and time to see each other's darker side and know how each of their 'shadow' sides will interact with each other," marriage and family therapist John Amodeo told Verily.
Insider reveals that couples who wed after less than one year of dating are more likely to end up divorced. If you get engaged after one year of dating, you can use the following year to actually plan the wedding which will still ultimately equate to a two-year timeline. Plenty of couples get engaged before reaching one full year of dating, and it doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is doomed. If true love is meant to last, it undoubtedly will.
You're on the same page about kids
If you and your partner are on the same page about kids, it's a sign you're ready to tie the knot. Very Well Mind says that if one partner sees having kids as something that is core to their life purpose, they need to be with a partner who sees eye to eye about that. If one partner really wants to have kids, and the other doesn't, it can lead to depression, regret, and remorse. One partner is going to feel like they're missing out on having children, or the other partner is going to feel pressured into bringing kids they don't want into the world. It is a no-win situation.
Psychology Today says that couples who couldn't get on the same page about having kids but decided to bring a kid into the world anyway ended up facing greater struggles and marital dissatisfaction later on. It's easier to marry someone who agrees with you when it comes to the idea of children and if you both want kids, great. On the other hand, if you both can't stand the idea of losing your freedom, expendable income, and quiet mornings, you'll likely be just fine not bringing kids into the world. Either way, the reality is that you aren't ready to marry your partner if you're not on the same page about something as vital as this.
You're on the same page about finances
Why is money always such a touchy subject? It's probably because, without money, we wouldn't be able to live comfortable lives or afford our basic necessities. If you're thinking about marrying someone, you have to make sure you're on the same page about finances. Forbes says that despite how daunting talking about money can be in a relationship, it must be done if you want to maintain a stable partnership.
Couples should be able to talk about finances freely and casually throughout the course of their relationship. According to Ellevest, you can learn more about your partner's financial priorities if you include money talk into your everyday conversations, rather than reserving them only for serious sit-down discussions.
Do you want to tie the knot with someone who's in massive debt with no plans of becoming debt-free? Can you enter into a marriage with someone who frivolously spends their money or has a gambling problem? When you do end up getting married, how will you split the bills? Is everything going to be 50-50? Is it going to be split 70-30? Will it simply be based on who's earning a higher income? What if one partner wants to quit working altogether to take care of future children you might be planning on? These are conversations that need to be had before walking down the aisle.
You share political and/or religious views
Sharing the same religious or political views and can help create an incredibly strong foundation for any relationship. When you're on the same page about subjects like these, you and your partner can probably agree about your morals, values, and outlook on the world. Global News reveals that a difference in religious beliefs within a relationship can create problems down the line in marriage. Of course, these types of marriages can still work if mutual respect is given and one partner doesn't alienate the other based on their opinions.
Time says there's been a sharp and recent increase of single individuals who simply claim they would never date someone who didn't share their political views. People from different political parties have made successful marriages work throughout history, but is it always the best route to take? If your religious or political views truly mean a lot to you, it's important to prioritize the notion of dating someone who agrees with you on a fundamental level. There's no denying the fact that it would likely grow frustrating and tiresome trying to get your point across to someone who will likely never change their mind about fundamental beliefs you hold.
You trust them with your darkest secrets
Just because you're dating someone, it doesn't mean you feel comfortable sharing your most private thoughts and secrets with them. If you're in a relationship with someone who you can be totally vulnerable, open, and honest with, it's a huge sign that you're ready to marry them. Divorce Mag says keeping secrets can fully destroy a relationship. Secrecy is a form of deceit, which breeds mistrust and serves as a hotbed for betrayal.
Mind Body Green explains that keeping secrets creates a barrier that blocks you from connecting with your partner. It also fuels an atmosphere of mistrust between you two, which impedes your natural ability to communicate with each other. If you start off telling white lies to your partner, they can explode into major, life-changing problems in the future. Before you marry someone, you should reevaluate how comfortable you are telling them all the secrets you might be carrying. Marriages are supposed to be safe spaces where you can talk about anything while still feeling loved and accepted by your partner.
You've traveled with them
Traveling with the person you're dating is the ultimate test before you decide to officially get married. The Blonde Abroad notes that traveling as a couple will give you a chance to observe your partner's behavior in moments of confusion and stress. What if you get lost in a foreign country where no one around you speaks your language? What if the hot water just won't turn on at the hotel you booked? What if the keys to the Airbnb have gone missing? Are they freaking out and starting wars with you, or are they keeping it cool by thinking of solutions?
Till the Money Runs Out says that traveling with your partner is a great way to test whether or not your partner is really the one for you by giving you a chance to be adventurous together, create unforgettable memories, and become somewhat of a real team. Traveling to new places requires a lot of attention, effort, energy, money, patience, and resilience. If you notice that you and your partner are both pulling your own weight, encouraging each other throughout the process, and enjoying the ride, it's clear that you two are ready to commit to marriage. If you notice that one — or both — of you is constantly losing your temper, struggling to deal with basic issues, always sparking up arguments, and creating tension, it might be a sign that a longer-term commitment is not going to work.
You've seen how they handle angry emotions
Getting angry is a normal human emotion. It all comes down to how you handle your anger when it arises. Are you aware that your temporary moment of rage will pass by soon enough? Do you know that you should be taking deep breaths to calm yourself down? Are you expressing your anger in a healthy way by talking it out rather than lashing out or running away?
When you're in the dating phase with your partner, you should be paying attention to how you both deal with your angry emotions. If you're a gentle spirit at heart, but you're stuck dating a raging hothead, they might be bringing out the worst in you. Love Panky says life is way too short to be living in anger or getting upset over minuscule problems.
It's also possible for anger to turn into emotional abuse, according to Psycom. Keep in mind that any dramatic disputes you have while dating can feel amplified if you choose to get married. Your mental health and well-being are more important than trying to make a toxic relationship work.
They support your aspirations
If you feel supported enough to shoot for the stars and follow your dreams with the person you're dating, then you're in a really great position. Sometimes it doesn't matter how realistic a dream sounds, it just matters that the person you're dating will support your aspirations along the way. Thought Catalog says we should all be dating people who bring out the best in us.
Everyone is receptive to love in their own different ways, but one thing we all have in common is that we want to be genuinely supported by the person we're with. Lifehack says we should prioritize dating people who make us feel like the best versions of ourselves. If you have dreams of publishing a children's book someday, the person you intend to marry should be cheering you on throughout the process. If you want to launch your own business, go back to school to finish your degree, lose 10 pounds within the next few months, participate in a triathlon, learn how to speak a new language, or anything else, the person you're with should truly be your biggest fan. If they aren't, consider if that lack of support is something you can live with for the rest of your life.
Your family and friends approve
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that your friends and family just didn't approve of? Those kinds of relationships are always really tough because you want your relationship to work, but you also want your friends and family to feel happy for you. Sometimes, your friends and family can see red flags from the outside that you've turned a blind eye to with your rose-colored glasses. Psychology Today says having approval from your friends is absolutely crucial for your relationship if you want it to eventually turn into a marriage.
If your loved ones aren't on board with your relationship and they start to distance themselves from you, you'll begin to feel isolated in your relationship. Luvze says that when your family and friends approve of your relationship, it's beneficial in a multitude of ways. It leads to greater relationship satisfaction, long-term commitment, and decreased anxiety. There's something really nerve-racking about dating someone who no one else seems to like. What vibe are they giving off to other people when you're not around? Is there something off about their energy? Knowing that your friends and family are happy for you in your relationship is another sign that you're ready to marry your partner.
You find their quirks to be endearing instead of annoying
You know you're ready to marry your partner when their little quirks are more endearing to you than anything else. If you notice that every little thing they do is starting to bug you, they might not be your perfect match. Pay attention to the way they chew their food. How do you feel about how clumsy they are whenever they're walking around? Do you mind how sweaty their palms feel when they hold your hand?
Thought Catalog says partners who are in love find certain quirks from their soulmates to be absolutely precious. If you feel annoyed every time you notice your partner's quirks coming to the surface, it might be time to walk away. Family Today notes that noticing each other's odd tendencies can help two people feel even crazier about each other than before. If you marry your partner, will you be able to embrace their occasional stutter? What about the way they snore at night? Are you cool with their super fast or super slow pace of walking? Hone in on their quirks and decide if these are things you'll be comfortable dealing with forever.
You prioritize each other always
The dating phase is a good time to figure out if you and your partner truly prioritize each other. Marriage Means Moore says that prioritizing your partner is key if you want the relationship to last. If you do prioritize each other, getting married is a natural next step. If they can give hours of attention to golfing sessions with their buddies or playing video games after work, find out where their head is at about their priorities. If they spend more time focused on those things than your happiness, it's probably not a great fit.
If you don't take this part seriously, your relationship can turn into a slippery slope that eventually falls apart. Relationships require constant attention and communication. Empowered Therapy cautions that a partner who starts to feel neglected may eventually lead to feelings of resentment. Both people involved should be on the same page about priorities. If you know you're not ready to prioritize your partner either, you have to reconsider if marriage is the right move for you both to make.
You're on the same level of maturity
Dating someone who's too immature for you can be a frustrating experience. According to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center, maturity is something that plays a major role in the success or demise of relationships. If your partner isn't mature enough to handle deep conversations about trust, forgiveness, personal responsibility, and effective communication, you're in for a world of hurt.
Healthy Place explains that having maturity in loving relationships means thinking about the bigger picture. Mature lovers know how to love their partners unconditionally by working through problems without throwing tantrums, striking up the silent treatment, or worse. People who are immature in relationships simply don't know how to express their wants or needs. Dating someone who's immature can feel like dating a small child who's incapable of resolving conflict in a reasonable way. When you date someone who is equally as mature as you, you'll both quickly notice how nice it is to be on the same page and on the same team. When you're equally mature, marriage makes sense.
You have loads of similar interests
Opposites certainly attract, but having shared interests in a relationship is also super important. Psychology Today says couples who have similar interests tend to have healthy relationships in the long haul. These types of couples share passions with each other by enjoying similar projects and adventures by each other's side. Having common interests opens the door for couples to have more fun together, according to Relish.
If you both deeply care about something, you're both automatically going to feel deeply bonded over the sentiment. If you enjoy doing the same things, it can even help you to create something called "relationship rituals." For example, if you both enjoy wine, you can attend wine and food festivals every month. If you're both obsessed with fitness, hitting the gym together can be something you do together on a daily basis. If you both enjoy true crime documentaries and podcasts, you can easily turn that type of entertainment on whenever you're at home watching or driving somewhere in the car together. Shared interests lead to happy marriages.
You share healthy independence from each other
When you're in love with your partner, it's totally normal to feel a little obsessed with them. In a good, cute, sweet, and healthy way, of course! At the same time, you should still always have healthy independence from each other. MasterClass says you can become more independent in your relationship by prioritizing self-care, reflecting on your core values, setting boundaries, and trying new hobbies. Everything you do doesn't have to be something your partner wants to do with you. You should feel free to enjoy certain activities on your own.
According to The Knot, being independent in a relationship can mean carving out necessary alone time in order to cultivate a sense of self outside of your relationship. Too many people get lost in their relationships, losing their independence along the way. It's always going to be healthier to be your own person. If you and your partner share healthy independence from each other, getting married would be a wonderful thing to do.
You've talked about marriage more than a few times
You know that you might be ready to tie the knot if you've talked about marriage more than a few times with your partner. If this is a conversation topic that has regularly come up over the course of your relationship, getting married might be a natural next step. Insider says discussions about marriage usually revolve around mutual desires, fertility, and age. These aren't the only reasons people should bring up the marriage conversation with each other though. Marriage is a way of expressing your commitment and love to one another in front of the world.
Zola notes that without talking to your partner about marriage, it's impossible to figure out where they stand. Setting a tone of honesty, being upfront, and getting into the details make marriage conversations feel more comfortable and fluid. If you and your partner casually talk about wedding venues, who you'd consider having in your bridal party, what flavor wedding cake you would have, and more, it means you two are definitely moving in the right direction. If you and your partner haven't discussed the notion of marriage at any point in time, it might be time to spark those conversations up if marriage is something that's on your mind.
They're the first person you call with good news
Picture this, you've just received some form of good news: You just got hired on a new job! Your best friend just found out she's pregnant! One of your distant family members is relocating to your city! Who is the first person you call? If that person is your partner, it's a sign that you're ready to get married to them.
Metro notes that whether you've been struck with good news or bad news, your partner should be the first person you want to call to share the information with. East Coast Radio says we all have special people in our lives who we insist on calling first, no matter what the situation might be. If you notice you are still calling family members or friends to share exciting news with before calling your partner, are you sure they're the person you want to be with forever?
If you've ever been in a situation where you've shared exciting news with your partner, but they made you feel defeated, stupid, or disappointed with their response, that's a huge sign that they might not be the person you should marry.
They've been there for you through hard times
Everyone goes through highs and lows in life. That's just the reality of being a human being who exists on planet earth. If your partner has proven that they can be there for you through hard times, it's a major sign you're ready to get married. TonyRobbins.com says being supportive in difficult moments is a necessity for successful relationships. Sometimes, you don't have to say anything at all to ensure that your partner feels loved, heard, and taken care of.
There are nonverbal cues you can give to help them feel emotionally fulfilled. If you and your partner are doing these things for each other, you are probably built for a lasting marriage. Inspiring Tips explains that facing life's ups and downs together will help you feel more connected in your relationship. The same way you're supposed to celebrate with each other in happy moments, you'll also naturally share painful moments with your partner.
Being married means you never have to suffer alone. If you feel sad and alone while you're in the dating phase, it's a major red flag.
They know your love language and act on it
There are five love languages to consider when you're in a relationship, according to Verywell Mind. They are: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. If you pay attention to your partner's love language, it could strengthen the stability of your romance.
Fun fact: the easiest way to figure out your own personal love language is by taking note of what you do the most to other people. The way you naturally show love to other people is your brain's way of telling you how you want to receive love back.
If you're always reaching out to stroke your partner's arm, always playing with their hair, always the one to initiate hugs, and always the one to grab their hand while walking, it's obvious that touch is your love language. When you reach out to touch your partner, you're telling them that you want to be touched more often! If you're always purchasing cute trinkets and thoughtful items for your partner to surprise them when they get home, it's very likely that gift-giving is your love language. If you and your partner can identify each other's love languages, and act on them, you should definitely think about marriage.
Being with them feels like home
Being with the person you intend to marry should feel safe, comfortable, and blissful. If you feel like you're at home whenever you're with them, no matter where you are, it's a sign that you're ready to marry them. Paired Life says being with your perfect match feels like experiencing a soul connection. Sometimes, there aren't any words that can possibly convey what you're feeling about them. All you know is that it feels right.
HuffPost says when you're with your soulmate, you feel an overwhelming sense of calm and peace. Suddenly, you can't even begin to imagine what your life was like before you met them. In a way, it feels like you've known each other way longer than you have. You get this undeniable feeling in your gut that they are the person you're supposed to be with. Whenever they're by your side, you feel like you can tackle any problem that might come your way. The feelings you have for them feel all-encompassing and intense. Most importantly, you feel completely safe in each other's presence. If all of these things apply, you two should definitely consider taking the next step.
You can be your most authentic self with them
If at any point in time you feel like you can't be yourself with the person you're dating, you should reconsider if they're the person you want to ultimately marry. The person you're dating should be someone you can be your most authentic self with. One Love says it's important to keep getting to know yourself after you've entered a committed relationship. As you discover new hobbies, develop new interests, and grow as a person, you should always feel like you can share those new aspects of yourself with the person you're dating.
Wise Heart explains that if you feel you can't be yourself in a relationship, then you have to feel empowered enough to create healthy change. Either figure out how to express yourself to them in an honest way or realize that the relationship isn't one that should lead to marriage. Whoever you eventually marry you should be the person who knows you best in the world. Being your most authentic self with them should come naturally.